I’m Not Too Keen on Mondays

At a first glance, this may seem like a slightly odd choice for a supposedly upbeat, get you out of bed and up and at ’em series

But anyone who doesn’t love this in all its camp-goth “hey nonny nonny” glory needs to have their bumps felt:

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The Sisters of Mercy – This Corrosion (Vocal Extended Version)

Welcome to the Week.

More soon.

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For Sian…

…and all the other fanclub members (whether they know they are or not) who’ve just earned my undying love and respect (which you already had anyway, but shush! Don’t spoil it…) by running a bloody long way for something so incredibly worthwhile:

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Gene – Sleep Well Tonight

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Gene – You’ll Never Walk Again

Love ya, chick, and I think I speak for all who read this shite I write when I say: we’re all dead proud of you.

More soon.

 

S.S.O.S (Stop Spoiling Our Songs)

It’s another blink-and-you’ll-miss-it tune this time, but you know me, that’s enough to get my dander up.

Picture the scene: a tastefully shot blonde lovely frolics on a beach sniffing a flower. Into shot come a bevy of other beauties, all either wearing the same sort of flower – a daisy, I guess, from the name of the product – in their hair, or sexily kicking the waves up, or writing their name in the sand.

What better way to soundtrack such a wet dream of an event than a song called Teen Age Riot?

Except.

Except, it isn’t. Obviously. Those are no normal teenagers. For a start, they’re on a beach having fun and not moping in their bedrooms, sulking in their misery.

Except, the ad-men have selected the quiet, start-doesn’t-sound-like-the-rest-of-the-song bit of the song in an effort to throw us of the scent.

But I smell you and your not particularly cheap whiff.

Me buying the album this is on was the closest that Llyr and I ever came to a second argument.

I returned from the now defunkt Fopp in Cardiff, clutching a little plastic bag with Sonic Youth’s Daydream Nation nestling inside.

Proud of my purchase, I showed Llyr, and, non-plussed, he said:

“Oh, Another album you’ve bought that you think you ought to own.”

I looked at him quizzically. I knew he was trying to get me to bite.

“Have you ever bought an album that you didn’t think you ought to own?”

A pause.

“Fair point. Can I have a listen after you?”

“Course you can.”

Warning: utter tune incoming.

I’ll dedicate this to Greta Thunberg, architect of the school strikes for climate, whilst also waving it in the apopleptic faces of the likes of Toby Young, who have this week sought to undermine Greta by announcing to the world that as her mother was a singer, then Greta must be privileged (this from the man whose father rang up Oxford University and persuaded them to let little Toby in) and therefore her opinion on climate change is somehow irrelevant:

sonic youth

Sonic Youth – Teen Age Riot

More soon.

Sunday Morning Coming Down

When we went to Glastonbury in 2010, Llyr, Hel and I watched a mesmerising performance by Willie Nelson on the Pyramid Stage.

Last night I looked back and realised I’ve never posted something by Willie on his own (without prompting via The Chain): it’s always been with someone, be it Merle Haggard or Kris Kristofferson or…erm…Snoop Dogg.

So here’s something which I know is quite predictable, but still…it’s magnificent:

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Willie Nelson – Always On My Mind

More soon.

Late Night Stargazing

I should have posted this long ago in my Sunday morning Country series, but whilst it’s undoubtedly a Country record, I don’t think it really sits there.

Rather, if ever there was a song that could make me grimace, mull over my mistakes and weep, it’s this one, a simply told tale of love lost, which makes it much more suited for late night introspection:

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Kris Kristofferson – When I Loved Her

Just beautifully sad.

More soon.

 

Saturday Night Coming Up

All that talk of meat earlier reminds of me of one of Llŷr’s other passions: laughing at, and often (in a piss-taking way) joining in with the meats doing The Meat Dance.

Okay, this is going to be really tricky to explain.

So: Meats, to us, were blokes who danced in clubs with their tops off, to expose what they perceived as being their ripped bodies, something Llŷr and I both knew we could never aspire to, even if we wanted to. “Them’s the Meats” was our clarion call.

And, regardless of whether they had fellow Meats with them or not, they always did the same Meat Dance: *Handclap…and to the left* dance, which Llŷr used to mimic so well.

Here’s how The Meats viewed themselves:

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Our mates Jo & Ian visited us in Cardiff one weekend, back in 2006, to go to the horribly named Get Loaded in the Park and oh my there was some prime meat – Valleys boys with their tops off – on display that day.

Jo took loads of meat-worthy pictures on the day, but annoyingly she had her laptop nicked along with all her photos – except this one, which does rather neatly illustrate the disparity between the perceived and the reality, the difference between a ripped torso and a thumb in shades:

Jo & Hel meat

But I digress.

When I finally got into clubbing, Llŷr, wary of me being a big old fat fish out of water, made me a load of mix-tapes (which dates this somewhat) to help me crib up.

I still have a couple of them, and last year, since I had no means to listen to the sodding things, I bought a second hand stereo which had a tape deck on it, specifically so I could hear them again.

So here’s (almost) all of the tunes on one of them, which he entitled Losing It, a title inspired by my reaction on one night out when a tune by Faithless was dropped (I’d love to say it was Insomnia, but truth be told I think it was probably We Come 1).

Anyway, my explosion that night definitely influenced the tunes on this mix-tape, which is probably a bit more trance-trousers than he would care to be associated with.

But he even made a proper sleeve for the cassette, God bless him, so here it is:

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And here’s the tunes.

Side A:

Chemical Brothers - It Began in Afrika

The Chemical Brothers – It Began in Afrika

BT - Mercury and Solace

BT – Mercury and Solace

Way Out West - Intensify

Way Out West – Intensify

Muse - Sunburn

Muse – Sunburn (Timo Maas Sunstroke Mix)

Paul Van Dyk - We Are Alive

Paul van Dyk – We Are Alive

kosheen - hide u

Kosheen – Hide U (Rollo + Sister Bliss Mix)

Sister Bliss - Deliver Me

Sister Bliss – Deliver Me

Side B:

Mutiny - The Virus

Mutiny – The Virus [King Unique’s Snake Charmer Mix]

X-Press 2 - Muzikizum

X-Press 2 – Muzikizum

Coast 2 Coast - Home

Coast 2 Coast – Home (DJ Tiesto Remix)

Dusted - Always Remember

Dusted – Always Remember To Love And Respect Your Mother (Euphoric mix)

Jan Johnston

Jan Johnston – Flesh (DJ Tiësto Mix)

Push - Strange World

Push – Strange World (2000 Remake)

Alas, I cannot find the last track, something called Outro by G.H. Feel free to send me links to it if you can.

Otherwise: More soon.

Say What?

The other thing about baffling lyrics, is that sometimes you’re just astounded by the sheer audacity of the songwriter who has

a) having written them

b) tried them out and

c) then thought: “Yeh, that’s totally appropriate” and left them in.

Today’s song is one which I’ve had thrust into my virtual world ever since the fire at the Notre Dame Cathedral the other week.

In that context, it’s probably fine – a Gallic “we didn’t do it” shrug.

But buried amongst the “wants to be Subterranean Homesick Blues or at the very least It’s The End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” lyrics of this song there lies an absolute gem of a “Sorry, what did he just say?” moment.

Look, there’s the sleeve, all “I am front page news and I have a message”, all self-important pomposity.

Which would be fine, in a 20th century history lesson kind of way, which the song essentially is.

But then, come the words which make Bono’s “Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you” on Do They Know It’s Christmas? seem positively humanitarian.

I should give some background for my mentioning it: this is a song and a lyric which Hel and I always thought to be hilariously inappropriate, to the extent that whenever one of us hears it and the other isn’t there to bask in it’s iffy-glory, the one feels compelled to let the other one know a moment is happening.

Hence one night last week I got a series of texts from Hel, telling me that the DJ in wherever she was had just played this, and that nobody else enjoyed her singing along with mucho gusto to the line in question.

My take home message: everyone misses living with me at some point.

Alogether now:

“CHILDREN OF THALIDOMIDE!!”

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Billy Joel – We Didn’t Start The Fire

Ouch.

More soon.