No Pressure

Many moons ago, when I could be bothered with posting here on a semi-regular basis, I wrote a post where I moaned about stupid things people say on TV quiz shows. You know, back when I used to write about the important things in life, before I became besotted with trivial matters like Brexit, our corrupt, inept Government and the like.

I spotted another one the other day. At least, I say another one, because I haven’t been able locate the original article to check. Let’s assume I didn’t include this one.

It gets said by people in every day life too, but in the world or TV quiz shows, it is usually preceded by the host saying something along the lines of: “You need to get this right or you’ll be knocked out.” (Of the quiz, that is. The quiz show where somebody is beaten about the head until unconscious for getting an answer wrong has not yet aired in the UK. Only a matter of time though. I’d watch it.)

The contestant will then, with air on inevitably, say this:

“No pressure, then!”

It’s always delivered with such chirpy cheerfulness it’s intention can only be to puncture the pressure bubble building up around them, to show some bravado, some fearlessness in the face of great jeopardy. And I understand the latent need to show no fear, but man alive, think of something more original to say, will you? It just makes me want to put some shoes on, so I can take them off again and hurl them at the TV in anger.

It may have been funny, once. Actually, no, I don’t even think it was funny that many times. In fact, I’ll bet the first time somebody ever said it, everybody in their immediate vicinity avoided eye contact, shook their heads and muttered the word “Twat” under their breath.

I’d have more respect for them if they launched into Blackadder quotes like: “I laugh in the face of danger. I drop ice cubes down the vest of fear.”

Or – much as I dislike musicals where the cast suddenly, spontaneously, all break into a song which none have heard before but all miraculously know not just the words to, but also the choreographed-to-within-an-inch-of-its-life dance moves – if they broke into song. It would certainly display a maniacal disregard for their current circumstance.

Here’s some suggestions:

Spandau Ballet – Chant No. 1 (I Don’t Need This Pressure On)

Or, for those who love a little a capella (although I wouldn’t recommend this as a sing-a-long, it’s literally only here because of the pun in the title):

Billy Bragg – I Don’t Need This Pressure Ron

Or, finally, those who might want to bop around like it’s 1991:

Sunscreem – Pressure

Look, I know it’s not of much substance, but at least I’ve actually written something.

Or, to put it another way:

More soon.