The Chain #34

Oh, Come All Ye Faithful, Joyful and Triumphant, come to the Festive edition of The Chain!

I’ve been beset by technical issues this week, not just those which have delayed this by a day, but also the issues with several contributions mysteriously being marked as Spam and disappearing from the Comments section.

But, nevertheless here we are, with another mixed bag of your suggestions, linked to last week’s final record, “Pink Moon” by Nick Drake.

As usual, the suggestions can be split down into various categories – namely songs or artists which include the words or some derivative thereof, of “Nick”, “Drake, “Pink” or “Moon”. Surprisingly, almost none of you suggested anything which contained more than one link, so here’s one to get us started.

From “The Dark Side of the Moon” by Pink Floyd (who have a band member called Nick), here’s:

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Pink Floyd – Time

I set you all an additional challenge last week: since this week’s post would be available in Christmas week, I asked you to see if you could provide suggestions of a festive nature where possible, and some of you  duly obliged.

Surprisingly, though, none of you suggested this, a song by a band so un-Christmassy I’ve always found this to be a slightly odd addition to their canon of work, let alone the fact that they released a whole album worth of this stuff:

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The Beach Boys – Little Saint Nick

So, over to you, but where to start? I suppose really, given that he has made more contributions this week than our most regular of readers have made since we started doing this, we should probably hear something from Rol of My Top Ten, right? Agreed.

So, here’s Charity Chic from Charity Chic Music then:

“Another Nick busy at this time of year is St Nicholas better known as Santa Claus. When another Nick shuffles of this mortal coil he will almost certainly be canonized. Can we have The Man That I’ve Become from Dig My Mood an album by St Nick of Lowe please?”

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Nick Lowe – The Man That I’ve Become

Is it just me, or does the picture on that sleeve have more than a passing resemblance to a certain orange President-Elect?

CC wasn’t the only person to suggest this particular Nick this week. Here’s Walter from A few good times in my life:

“Taking his first name it is a short step to Nick Lowe. Probably one of the best songwriters in the early 80’s and blessed with a great voice. So what about the first Stiff single ever ‘So It Goes’?”

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Nick Lowe – So It Goes

Regular visitors will know that generally, each week, after I’ve received several suggestions, I get a comment from Alyson from What’s It All About, Alfie? bemoaning the fact that all of the songs she was going to suggest had already been made by co-Chain Gangers. It’s a bit like when the person on the third podium on ‘Pointless’ says that the person on the second podium had just taken their answer. Anyway, so imagine my delight when the very first comment I got this week was from Alyson:

“Time for sleep now, then work tomorrow, so will no doubt be late again with my suggestion…but before CC trumps me, it might involve Lily the Pink.”

Several hours passed. Article 50 was activated and nobody noticed. Civilizations rose and fell. And then, finally, this:

“Well, sleep, work and xmas shopping got in the way so 18 hours after my first comment, I have decided against Lily The Pink by The Scaffold…”

Oh no you don’t. You’re having it, whether you like it or not, young lady:

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The Scaffold – Lily The Pink

And since we seem to have stumbled into Pink territory, back to Walter:

“Pink leads me to Pink Flag, Wire’s first record. Three Girl Rhumba was one of these little masterpieces in this era. Groundbreaking and always worth to listen to.”

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Wire – Three Girl Rhumba

A few years ago, when I still shared a flat, I did my usual Friday night routine of doing a playlist to get drunk with my flatmates to; it included that Wire rune, followed by the next record. I had neglected to tell my new flatmates that it was a playlist they were listening to; they thought my iPod was incredible for knowing to play these two records together (along with a whole host of other songs which sounded like/had been ripped off (allegedly) from each other. Hmm…maybe there’s a new topic for me there….). What I mean to say is *ahem* *clears throat* *offers a cheeky wink to the audience*…Well, if you’re going to suggest that, then I’m going to suggest this:

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Elastica – Connection

Right. I suppose we’d better make some in-roads into this mountain sized pile of suggestions by Rol. Oh hang on, Alyson’s back:

“I have always thought that the multi-talented American singer Pink, and Sharon Watts from Eastenders, were dopplegangers and who did Sharon date for a while on that show – Yes it was “Nick” Berry who had a big hit with Every Loser Wins. (They don’t, every loser generally loses, but it worked well for him). A tenuous double link.”

Much as I’d love to post that, it has featured here before and the rule is that the only records we can feature twice are a) “Back on the Chain Gang” by The Pretenders, and b) records which turn out to be the next record in The Official Chain which we’ve already had. Have another go.

“…perhaps Lily The Pink it will have to be, although just remembered that the brother of Mike McGear of The Scaffold was Paul McCartney whom I also seem to remember recorded a theme for the teatime soap “Crossroads” which Nick Drake’s sister, aforementioned Gabrielle, appeared in. Don’t know if theme tunes count as a suggestion but another double link.”

Well, we’ve featured the theme tune to Bergerac and Space:1999 here before, so I don’t see why not, especially when The Great Gog made reference to the same theme tune via a different link in his suggestion:

“There is Nick’s sister, Gabrielle, who starred in Crossroads at one time. The theme tune to Crossroads was written by Tony Hatch…”

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The Tony Hatch Orchestra – Crossroads Theme

I have had that firmly lodged in my brain ever since I listened to it. It should come with some sort of Government health warning. As should have the programme it book-ended.

“Things hatch from eggs,” continues The Great Gog, “which to me at least is as good an excuse as any for “Egg Shaped Fred” from Mansun.”

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Mansun – Egg Shaped Fred

Catchphrase alert! Well, if you’re going to suggest that, then I’m going to suggest this, from the magnificent “The Mysterious Production of Eggs” by Andrew Bird:

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Andrew Bird – Fake Palindromes

Right, where were we? Ah yes, Alyson, back to you:

“Final pink suggestion is simply ‘Pink Cadillac’ by Natalie Cole simply because she is yet someone else from that long list of artists who have left us since this time last year.”

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Natalie Cole – Pink Cadillac

It’s probably about time put a dent into Rol’s suggestions. No, really this time.

“I’m resisting the obvious Springsteen link from Alyson’s last suggestion as it’s Christmas and I don’t want to upset George” This would be most admirable, were it not for the fact that Springsteen wrote Pink Cadillac, but I’m sure George appreciates the sentiment.

“However, since no one else will dare suggest a song by the best damned pop star of the last 20 years, can I suggest ‘So What’ by Pink?”

The Chain would like to make it very clear that the views of Rol re: the best pop star of the last 20 years are not necessarily shared by the publishers of The Chain.

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Pink – So What

Well, if you’re going to suggest that, then I’m going to suggest this, by one of the greatest pop stars of the last 60 years:

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Dame Shirley Bassey – Get the Party Started

There’s something rather wonderful about hearing a seventy-year old Welsh woman proclaiming: “I’m comin’ up so you better you better get this party started”, isn’t there? Bear that in mind when your grannies farting herself to sleep in front of the television on Christmas Day.

Which reminds me: Christmas records, anyone?

Ah, here’s Julian from Music From Magazines, he seems the sort of cheery fellow bound to supply us with something festive. Which he will, but first, he’ll expand a little on the whole Gabrielle Drake thing. She rather seems to have set racing the hearts of several of the men of a certain age who contribute here:

“Nick Drake’s sister was Gabrielle Drake who was in the TV show UFO (any picture would be a Christmas gift for any man of a certain age [See? I told you so]), the heavy metal band UFO is not a gift.”

It’s okay, we’re not having anything by UFO. Although, had you actually suggested something by them, I would have been honour bound to post it. Oh and by the way, I am not posting a picture of Gabrielle Drake. If you’re reading this, you’re already connected to the internet, so you can find one yourself, you mucky sod. (c6e302534f132c440893dd44980da6ce)

Before you all go cranking open a spare browser to do exactly that, stick around folks, because if you piece together this little bit of connected thinking out loud, you get a rather fine example of Comment Showboating.

“On the other hand ‘Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft” by The Carpenters is a fine song written by the Canadian group Klaatu, a bunch of session musicians, who some folk thought were The Beatles.”

klaatu_-_3_47_est_coverKlaatu – Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft

I’ve always thought that was a pretty odd, uncharacteristic record for The Carpenters to have recorded, had assumed it was a cover version, but had never actually thought about finding out for sure. Consequently, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard it.

By the way, many years ago, I was drafted into what turned out to be the winning team in a pub quiz. (There was a music round, and without wishing to sound immodest, I was often asked to join teams for pub quizzes which featured a music round). The prize was “A Tribute to The Carpenters”, which I had assumed was going to be a night of people performing cover versions of their many hits, but which actually turned out to be a selection of middle aged men displaying a rather fine range of bureaus and occasional tables they had made.

I digress. Back to Julian:

“A slight detour to the movies for the classic sci fi ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’ starring Michel Rennie as the alien called ….Klaatu. A still from the film was used (with some editing) for the cover of Ringo Starr’s LP ‘Goodnight Vienna’.”

It’s okay, he’s going somewhere with this. Trust me.

And he’s not wrong you know. The original:

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and the “Peace and Love! Peace and Love! No autographs! Peace and Love” rip off:

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“Which of course leads on to Dora Bryan and ‘All I Want for Christmas is a Beatle'”

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Dora Bryan – All I Want For Christmas is a Beatle

At last, a Christmas record! And am I alone in being reminded of a certain other iconic performer from the North West of England when I hear that? No? You know who I mean, surely?

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Frank Sidebottom – Oh Blimey It’s Christmas

Take that back a step, before I interrupted and brightened your lives up with Frank, and Rol has another link:

“…this leads me to think of ‘Doris Daytheearthstoodstill’ by Future Bible Heroes.”

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Future Bible Heroes – Doris Daytheearthstoodstill

Julian’s not quite done yet, and we’re most definitely not done with the Gabrielle Drake links just yet. Here’s Julian, ruining all that excellent Comment Showboating by suggesting the Worst Record of the Week:

“Back to Gabrielle Drake. The organisation that [Spoiler alert!! – Considerate Ed] will save the world in UFO is the Supreme Headquarters Alien Defence Organization or SHADO which is only a short step, (or a W) to a truly crap Christmas song”:

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Cliff Richard – Mistletoe & Wine

“All this talk of Gabrielle Drake being in Crossroads but am I the only one who mainly remembers her from that 1970s Sunday Night drama set in the exciting world of haulage – ‘The Brothers’?” chips in Alyson. “So many links to bands/duos with Brothers in their name so won’t overload you and was really just looking for one that might have done a seasonal ditty but all I could find in my library was Count Basie & The Mills Brothers with ‘December’! (Goodness knows where that came from as can’t remember ever noticing it before.)”

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Count Basie & The Mills Brothers – December

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Okay, let’s wrap up the rest of the Drake related suggestions, and we’ll go back to The Great Gog:

“A contender for worst record of the week [Too late, even though you did suggest this first. It is nowhere near as bad as Sir Cliff – Cut’n’Paste Ed]”:

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Charlie Drake – My Boomerang Wont Come Back

More Drake-related shenanigans from The Beard now:

“Drake is a popular Canadian rapper. Another, much better, Canadian rapper is Abdominal. He is best known for his collaborations with DJ Format. When not hip-hopping Format makes spaced out funk as part of The Simonsound. ‘Tour De Mars’, their cover of Kraftwerk’s Tour De France, is almost as good as the original.”

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The Simonsound – Tour de Mars

Even more Drake related nonsense from Rigid Digit of, appropriately enough, Stuff & Nonsense fame:

“Drake = a male duck
 A wild duck = mallard
Mallard = Steam Train

Next up:
The only* Heavy Metal song about a Steam Train

* probably not the only, but the only one I can think of right now”

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Saxon – Princess Of The Night

And the Drake links just keep on coming. Here’s Swiss Adam from Bagging Area:

“Nick Drake was related to  Elizabethan sailor, privateer and adventurer, Francis Drake.[Has anyone checked this? – Ed] Francis Drake was a thorn in the side of the ‘King of Spain’, which is a song by Galaxie 500.”

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Galaxie 500 – King of Spain

Over to The Robster from Is This The Life? now:

“A drake is a male duck. Chuck Berry was famous for his ‘duck walk’ and he had a song called Havana Moon, first released in 1957, later re-recorded for the 1979 album Rock It. Interestingly, that was the last studio album Chuck released, but he has a new one lined up for 2017, the year he turns 91. Yes – 91. I wonder if he can still do the duck walk?”

I imagine if he can, it would be The Duck Walk sponsored by Stannah Stairlifts and Sanatogen Vital 50+.

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Chuck Berry – Havana Moon

Props for the Duck/Drake/Moon double-linker by the way, Rob.

A quick additional duck-link from Walter:

“I don’t think he can’t do the duck walk any more but I’m surprised that he will us give a new record at the age of 91 and I ask myself if Keith Richards will still be on the stage at this age. So Ducks Deluxe came to my mind with Who’s put the bump”

By which I think you mean this (and apologies, I could only find a live version, but it doesn’t sound like there’s many people in the audience, so it’s practically a live studio version):

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Ducks Deluxe – Daddy Put the Bomp

Whilst we’re on ducks, a song which I remember from my childhood, which I haven’t been able to find a decent copy of, but did find this clip from TOTP2, which means it is top-and-tailed by Steve Wright, which makes it even worse than it already is:

It was around this point that the Comments went all wonky and some got deleted. As far as I can tell, this affected Charity Chic, who compensated by reposting his links over and over again until they worked, and SWC and Badger’s. If anyone else’s got lost, my apologies.

One that didn’t get lost, was this from Kay. In the interest of full disclosure, I should let you all know that Kay is not just a friend of mine, but also my boss, so you’ll forgive me for allowing her suggestions, irrespective of how terrible the record or tenuous the link she suggests. I can say this without fear of retribution because by the time she reads this, she’ll be at least halfway through the bottle of Chocolate Orange liqueur we bought her today. Delicious on Coco Pops, I’m…er…told.

“Nick Drake links to Drake, same name but then realised I didn’t really know any of Drake’s stuff. [I have just Googled him,and I’m none the wiser] So went the same way as The Robster and linked drake to male ducks, then realised I knew no songs that are linked to ducks [It’s going well this, isn’t it?] …. but [I sense a Eureka! moment is imminent] ducks live in ponds and frogs do too…so my choice is Paul McCartney & The Frog Chorus’ ‘We All Stand Together’, which was the first record my sister brought.”

Or, as he is forever known Chez Jez:  Fab Macca Wacky Thumbs Aloft. Some of you will understand the reference.

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Paul McCartney & The Frog Chorus – We All Stand Together

I’m going to avoid the lazy joke about that being Nigel Farage’s least favourite record since it contains a bunch of frogs suggesting unity. Although I appear to have just made it anyway.

By George, it’s George!

“Worst song of the week contender [Nuh-huh]. From Nick Drake to Ted Drake (the footballer) who played for Southampton (and Arsenal)., and was manager of Chelsea when they won their first league title in 1954/55. And born in Southampton, in 1955 (double chain link there!) was Howard Jones. Now, I could it leave it to Charity Chic to pick a Howard Jones track from his record shelves But I’m going for…”

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Howard Jones – New Song

“…which had that bloke in chains prancing around on Top of the Pops. Who was he, anyone know?”

As I said in the Comments, I do. His name was Jed, a name I have been mistakenly called many times, and as such one which is indelibly edged into my brain.

And in case you don’t know who George is on about, here’s Howard and Jed, singing and prancing around on Top of the Pops:

 

I’m having a flashback, I swear…

Let’s move on to wrapping up the Pink links, and I’ll hand you over to George again:

“Pink Moon to Pink Industry and their single ‘What I Wouldn’t Give’. (The cover of the single featured a picture of Morrissey).”

It does indeed, which is precisely the reason I have a copy of it, poor obsessed fool that I was:

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Pink Industry – What I Wouldn’t Give

By the way, as I’ve uploaded that I’ve realised that there’s about three minutes of silence at the end of it. Time constraints prevent me from editing it, but I may come back and do it later on, if anyone’s that fussed. What I mean is, when the song sounds like it has ended at around the 3:30 mark, it has: don’t sit around in silence on the off-chance something interesting might be about to happen, as it isn’t.

As I mentioned earlier, the glitches that meant some comments went AWOL seem to have affected Charity Chic, SWC and Badger’s. I think we got there in the end though, although what with SWC and Badger both posting from their excellent When You Can’t Remember Anything blog I’m not 100% sure that I’ve attributed the right song to the right chap this week. So, more apologies if I’ve messed it up.

So, I think this is SWC taking us, as he puts it, “down the pink route” now he’s “finished watching Gabrielle Drake’s finest moment ‘Commuter Husbands’ “

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“The obvious link from here is to ‘Snooker Loopy’ by Chas ‘n’ Dave and The Matchroom Mob” which has featured before, so I can’t allow, I’m afraid, “But another song that features pink would be ‘Pink Glove’ by Pulp.”

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Pulp – Pink Glove

Plus,  “Aerial Pink who was in a band called Holy Shit with Christopher Owen from Girls. So you could have the very Christmassy:”

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Girls – Vomit

It’s Rol time again, with more pinkness:

“‘Hey Eugene’ by Pink Martini would be good too.”

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Pink Martini – Hey Eugene

From vomit to Martini. I don’t just throw this together you know.

Here’s babylotti with a hat-trick, starting with a pink connection, and ending with something festive:

“First of all, I can think of Fuzzbox (had they dropped the ‘We’ve Got a …& We Know How to Use It’ by then?) [Yes and no, is the answer: officially they were now just Fuzzbox, but as this was the first single they released under that moniker, the “We’ve Got…” part was snuck onto the record sleeve just in case there was any doubt as to who was responsible for it. There’d been quite a make over in between the ‘Bostin’ Steve Austin’ album and this, so you can’t really blame them – Ed]) and Pink Sunshine. Bostin’”

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Fuzzbox – Pink Sunshine

“From there that leads me to another one introduced to me by Peel, Fuzzbox’ label mate Ted Chippington. I’d love to go for his version of ‘D.I.S.C.O.’, but I will settle for ‘Rockin with Rita’…”

That’s fortuitous, I haven’t been able to find ‘D.I.S.C.O.’, but ‘Rockin’ with Rita’, no problem:

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Ted Chippington – Rockin’ with Rita

“Finally from ‘Rockin’ with Rita’, I’m going for a festive link to Mel & Kim’s [no, not those ones, but it’s only a matter of time before they turn up here] ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’.”

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Mel & Kim – Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree

Next, a stone cold classic, courtesy of Charity Chic:

“No repetition here and something that is neither obscure nor obtuse, just a song that is demanding to be played:”

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The Psychedelic Furs – Pretty In Pink

What we need now is something that neatly takes us from Pink to Moon. Preferably by way of one of the greatest records ever recorded. Any takers?

The Swede from Unthought of, though, somehow confidently steps up to the oche:

“‘Pink Moon’ was produced by John Wood and among his many other credits are several of Squeeze’s early hits, including ‘Up the Junction’.”

That will do nicely.

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Squeeze – Up The Junction

So, moons. Over to Martin now (forgive me if I’m rattling through these a bit now…time is ticking away….) who offers a song and a critique:

“I’ll go with an obvious moon connection instead and throw Morrissey’s ‘Moon River’ hat into the ring, even if it does go on a bit.”

You can say that again. Somehow he manages to drag this out for 9:40. I’d put the kettle on if I were you:

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Morrissey – Moonriver (extended)

Rol’s back:

“Moon River is from the excellent 1961 movie Breakfast At Tiffany’s, starring Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard. Ten years earlier, one of Audrey’s first ever screen roles was as a “Cigarette Girl” in the movie Laughter In Paradise in which she appeared alongside another famous George… George Cole. That George would go on to become immortalised as Arfur Daley in the TV show Minder, and in 1983, he would release a Christmas single with his co-star Dennis (“write the theme tune, sing the theme tune”) Waterman.”

I wish I could say I didn’t actually already own this. I think this may over-take Sir Cliff in the Worst Record of the Week stakes:

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Dennis Waterman & George Cole – What Are We Gonna Get ‘Er Indoors?

“Their Top of the Pops performance is worth a watch.” It is, just so you can see the dictionary definition of the words “excrutiating” and “embarrassing” acted out:

It is at this point in the Comments section, that Julian and Rol had a bit of a chat, coming up with more suggestions. Nice to see you boys getting along!

Julian: “Back to the movies, in the film ‘New York New York’ Blue Moon is destroyed by Robert De Niro who costarred in ‘What Happened Next’ (2008) with Bruce Willis……..”

Which leads us to what has been argued to be the greatest Christmas movie ever: Die Hard. (It’s not. It’s pretty much Home Alone for grown-ups.)

The end credits have this festive number playing over them:

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Vaughn Monroe & His Orchestra – Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Rol: “Blue Moon was also the detective agency where David Addison (Bruce Willis) worked in the aforementioned [last week] ‘Moonlighting'”

Julian: “Nice. Al Jarreau “The Christmas Song” anyone?”

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Al Jarreau – The Christmas Song

And since we’ve landed on some Christmas songs again, here’s another suggestion from Rol:

“Can I add ‘Run With The Fox’ by Chris Squire & Alan White (roughly a quarter of Yes) because it contains a Christmas Moon, which isn’t pink but probably has fairy lights hanging from it. It might keep old proggies like The Swede happy… or not. “

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Alan White & Chris Squire – Run with the Fox

Respect to the guys in the Art Team for the many hours they must have put in coming up with the concept for that sleeve. Money well earned, chaps.

I haven’t used my catch-phrase for ages. It’ll never catch on at this rate. Let’s do it.

Well, if you’re going to suggest that, then I’m going to suggest this, since it’s actually called “Christmas Moon” and because it’s ace:

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Emmy the Great & Tim Wheeler – Christmas Moon

Which I think just leaves us with Badger. Since his comment was one that was lost, I received a summary of both his and SWC’s suggestions. We’ve had SWC’s, here’s Badger’s:

“Nick Drake also recorded ‘Road’ which was covered by scouse punk band Drive on their ‘Out Freakage’ album…”

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Drive – Road

“…Roads lead to nowhere as Talking Heads told us…”

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Talking Heads – Road To Nowhere

“…Or if you want to go festive you drive home on them like Chris fucking Rea….”

Or like Saint Etienne, for that matter (bullet dodged, there, I think):

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Saint Etienne – Driving Home for Christmas

And this is where it gets complicated. For at the end of their summary of the lost comments, posted by which of our fine friends I know not, was this:

“He also said something about Malcolm McLaren but I true to form can’t remember what.”

Later, this, again, author unconfirmed: “It was to do with ‘Duck Rock’.”

I sought clarification: “Was there a song from ‘Duck Rock’ you had in mind? If not, it’s going to be ‘Double Dutch’…”

The response, again author unconfirmed: “Well most of it is rubbish to be honest [Fair point]. I only thought of it because I saw a copy in a charity shop. Double Dutch is fine.”

But I felt a bit bad about…erm…badgering them into letting me play the track I like the most, so I persevered:

“Yeh, it’s that or ‘Buffalo Girls’ really isn’t? Your call, I have them both lined up ready to go. Which did you suggest in your original lost comment? We should go with that one, really.. “

No response, but to be fair, the boys have probably been swamped with comments and nice things being said about their frankly phenomenal final post (for now…?) over at When You Can’t Remember Anything. If you haven’t read it yet, do your self a favour: click that link and read something incredible. Advanced warning: you will undoubtedly shed a tear.

The reason I was trying to check whether or not one of them had suggested ‘Buffalo Gals’ (as I have subsequenty realised it’s actually called) was this. I never look at what the next record in the Official Chain is until I’ve finished sourcing all the tunes you suggested and thought of a few myself. Seems only fair that we have an even playing field, where I don’t know what the next record in The Chain is any more than you do. Besides, it’d just look plain fishy if I “guessed” right every week.

But when I did look to see what the next record in The Official Chain was, this is what I found:

“From Nick Drake to the following (which is on the ‘Duck Rock’ album)..”:


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34. Malcolm McLaren – Buffalo Gals

So, SWC, Badger, jointly as I have no idea which of you suggested Malcolm McLaren, and in honour of your bloody marvellous (please keep going, you’re too good at this to stop) blog, have some bonus points. Merry Christmas.

Okay. So. This is the last edition of The Chain for 2016. I’ll be taking next week off, bar a couple of pre-planned posts I have lined up. Due to the nature of it, I can’t really write The Chain in advance, obviously.

So, you have two weeks to get your suggestions to me, via the Comments section below, for songs which link to “Buffalo Gals” by Malcom McLaren, along with the usual explanation about how you got from record A to record B.

Oh and one more thing. I love doing this, and I’ve said it before and I really mean it – I just host it, the majority of the work is down to you lot and your quite brilliant suggestions. I’ve followed blogs for over ten years now, and I don’t think I’ve ever come across a blog that does what we do here at The Chain. Not me, we.

I  cannot think of a single other blog where requests are invited and all are posted; where all is good-natured, pleasant and friendly and everyone accepts they may get a bit of a ribbing every now and then, and nobody objects, nobody trolls, nobody flounces off in a strop because I’ve said their record choice was terrible; where I’ve been introduced to God knows how many songs and artists that I would probably never have heard were we not doing this (and where I hope I’ve returned the favour a few times); and where we get the most incredibly diverse range of artists – just look at that Tag list underneath this!! 46 songs!! Where else would you get that?

What I’m trying to say is this: if you’ve ever made a suggestion here, thank you. You have helped make this place what it is.

Have a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

More power to your elbows.

Oh. And More soon, obviously.

The Chain #32

Is it Wednesday again already? Where did that week go?

Right, we’ve got the biggest number of suggestions to get through that we’ve ever had this week, and that’s without any from a couple of regular Chain Gangers, so there’s no time for pleasantries this week, bar a courteous “Hello!” (Also, I’m feeling a little under the weather today, so please excuse me if there are less attempts at jokes than usual this week…)

Still, the show must go on, and all that.

We signed off last week with “The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead” by XTC, inviting your usual wide-ranging nominations for tunes that link to it, and I can’t think of a batter way to kick things off this week than with one of The Beard’s suggestions:

“The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead was released in 1992. Also released in 1992 was the album Connected by Stereo MCs. That year they supported Happy Mondays on their Yes Please! tour. Yes Please! is a genuinely appalling album and one that appeared to mark the end of Shaun Ryder as a lyricist and a poet comparable to Yeats (in the mind of Anthony H. Wilson, anyway). That was until he came back with Black Grape and the single Reverend Black Grape a few years later.”

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Black Grape – Reverend Black Grape

Over to the Great Gog now:

“My first thought was that the XTC sleeve looked familiar, but I know that I didn’t buy ‘Peter Pumpkinhead’ as a single, only acquiring later on a compilation. A quick look through the vinyl singles revealed another XTC sleeve in that style for The Disappointed, which I presume was on the same album [it was, on “Nonsuch”]. This immediately brought to mind a couple of other singles I possess called Disappointed – one by Public Image Limited…”

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Public Image Ltd. – Disappointed

“…and the other by Electronic.”

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Electronic – Disappointed (Single Mix)

There’s also this, not a single, granted, but a B-Side of the 12″ of his second solo single, back when he was still good, and this containing one of my favourite self-deprecating couplets:

“This is the last song I will ever sing (Crowd noise: ‘Hooray!!’)

No, I’ve changed my mind again (Crowd Noise: “Awww…’)”

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Morrissey – Disappointed

Which leads us rather nicely on to the first suggestion from Badger of When You Can’t Remember Anything:

“Spud in ‘Bob the Builder’ famously is a scarecrow who has a pumpkin for a head. This brings us nicely to the Bob the Builder theme tune.”

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Bob the Builder – Can We Fix It?

Now, when I say the Morrissey song leads us nicely to Bob the Builder, it’s because Bob is of course voiced by actor Neil Morrissey, and not because anyone other than the aforementioned Spud has a head shaped like a pumpkin.

But whilst we’re still in Morrissey territory, here’s The Robster from Is This The Life?:

“Frank Sidebottom didn’t have a pumpkinhead, but it was the size of a pumpkin. His cover of Panic is always worth a spin, but as it’s that time of year, you may want to consider something from the Christmas Is Really Fantastic EP which came out 30 whole years ago! Blimey…”

Panic fits where we are at the moment, I think:

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The Sidebottoms – Panic

By the way, apologies for the absolute bobbins way that mp3 ends; I didn’t notice until earlier today that it cuts out mid-conversation between Frank and Little Frank, and, erm, frankly I haven’t had time to re-edit it.

Anyway, we seem to be in the middle of some pumpkin related shenanigans, so here to add to the mix is a couple of suggestions from SWC, also of When You Can’t Remember Anything:

“If you need a Pumpkin reference [as it happens, I thought we would, but we’ve done alright, ta!], then we could go towards ‘Pumpkin’ by Tricky…”

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 Tricky – Pumpkin

“…or perhaps,” SWC continues, “down the Smashing Pumpkins route and have some ‘Today’….”

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The Smashing Pumpkins – Today

And here’s another. Remember Kate Nash? You know, her with that really annoying voice that sounded like she was affecting an Essex accent, had a massive hit with “Foundations” a few years back? Yeh, you do. Well, anyway, here’s one of her follow-up singles:

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Kate Nash – Pumpkin Soup

I have no idea why that song is so named. I can’t help but suspect it’s one of those “Yesterday/Scrambled Eggs” scenarios, except she didn’t bother changing it.

Time for a big Chain Gang welcome to a new (I think…) contributor, and here with a couple of belters is Julian, the first of which is a double-linker, since it mentions not only pumpkins but also ballads:

“Murder Ballads by Nick Cave & The Bad Seedshas the song The Curse Of Millhaven, a line in which refers to two dog killers as ‘Stinky Bohoon and his friend with the pumpkin sized head’…”

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Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – The Curse Of Millhaven

I’m surprised there hasn’t been more suggestions for songs from this album linking to the Ballad theme, to be honest, but now we’re here, you may as well have another bash Julian:

“Also on the album was a great take on ‘Stagger Lee’ which leads one to The Clash with ‘Wrong ‘Em Boyo’, yet an other take on ‘Stack ‘o’ Lee’.”

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The Clash – Wrong ‘Em Boyo

Sorry, George, I had no idea he was going to do that, honest….

Anyway, since we seemed to have strayed into Ballad territory, we may as well have some more. Welcome, then, Charity Chic from Charity Chic Music:

“I shall redeem myself with my second thought – ‘The Ballad of El Goodo’ by Big Star.”

Yes, I know I haven’t posted his first suggestion yet, do I need to post the whole Dr Who, Timey-Wimey clip again? I’ll get to it. Besides, this now adds a whole element as to whether or not CC’s second suggestion really is going to be better than his first, don’t ya think?

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Big Star – The Ballad of el Goodo

Over to Rol of My Top Ten fame next:

“I remembered My Top Ten Ballads Of… which I did ages ago (I can’t be bothered looking for a link, I’m not after a cheap plug this week!) Ahead of the aforementioned Peter Pumpkinhead [and another one which will be along in a minute or two] was ‘The Ballad of Barry Allen’ by Jim’s Big Ego, which is about the fleet-footed superhero The Flash and, curiously enough, written and performed by Jim Infantino, the nephew of comic book artist Carmine Infantino who used to draw said superhero quite a lot back in the comics I read when I was a younger, more affluent person.”

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Jim’s Big Ego – The Ballad of Barry Allen

Over to Alyson from What’s It All About, Alfie?:

“I tend to submit only one suggestion per week as realise you must be pretty overloaded nowadays [yeh, a little, but I’ll survive!] …but three that came to mind immediately – if any of them seem worthy of including, or have a gag in them, take your pick.”

This, then was the third: “…Marianne Faithful, who tends to be remembered less for her music as for “other things” but there you go”:

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Marianne Faithfull – The Ballad Of Lucy Jordan

Gags? I have no idea what you mean. Nor do I have any idea what those “other things are” that you refer to.

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Oh, I see.

Moving swiftly on, here’s Martin from New Amusements, back for his second week of Chain Gangery:

“My first reaction was to pick up on the ballad, and go with ‘The Ballad of Tom Jones’, by Space and Cerys Matthews. However, much as I sometimes love Cerys, I felt determined to come up with a better song than this….”

You will, Martin, you will. But in the meantime:

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Space with Cerys Matthews – The Ballad Of Tom Jones

Back over to Rol, who’s still banging on about the Ballad Top 10 he did over at his place, but which he definitely isn’t after a cheap plug for, nosireebob. (It’s right here if you want to have a look. Needless to say, there’s some belters)

“At #2 was Martin’s Tom Jones.

But #1…

#1 was something really rather special.

‘The Ballad of the Kingsmen’ by Todd Snider. It’s Louie Louie-tastic.”

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Todd Snider – The Ballad of the Kingsmen

Remember earlier I edited Rol’s suggestion so as not to spoil a forthcoming “Ballad” link? Well, here’s the song in question, as suggested by babylotti:

“‘The Ballad of’ leads me immediately to The Bloodhound Gang’s ‘The Ballad of Chasey Lain’.”

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 The Bloodhound Gang – The Ballad Of Chasey Lain

babylotti continues: “The video (apart from having several ladies in a state of undress) is one of those ones which stops the song halfway through, which leads me onto my next suggestion, the magnificent Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order (You’re a real ‘up’ person..) surely the best song they ever wrote?”

I’m not arguing.

babylotti is right, The Bloodhound Gang video does stop halfway through (as their bass player wanders off stage, his eye caught by one of these ladies). I have watched it, so that you don’t have to, just to check the link is valid. You know, purely for research purposes. Seven times.

In case you’re not sure what babylotti is talking about re:Bizarre Love Triangle, this from wiki:

“The music video, which was released in November 1986, was directed by American artist Robert Longo. It prominently featured shots of a man and a woman in business suits flying through the air as though propelled by trampolines; this is based directly on Longo’s “Men in the Cities” series of lithographs. The video also features a black and white cut-scene where Jodi Long and E. Max Frye are arguing about reincarnation, in which Long emphatically declares “I don’t believe in reincarnation because I refuse to come back as a bug or as a rabbit!” Frye responds, “You know, you’re a real ‘up’ person,” before the song resumes.”

Probably easier if I just post the video, really:

Oh, and the song too:

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New Order – Bizarre Love Triangle

Some of you, and I won’t be asking for a show of hands, will perhaps not be familiar with Chasey Lain, so I’ll let babylotti wrap things up, as he seems to know who she is:

My last suggestion, as Chasey Lain is a porn star, I would like to suggest another porn star who went on to make a record (no, not Paris Hilton, though surely that would have made worst single of the week….), ‘Fallen Angel’ by Traci Lords”

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Traci Lords – Fallen Angel

Now, I know what song I would go to next, and thankfully, Rol knows it too:

“The link to Traci Lords…made me think of ‘Little Baby Nothing’ by the Manics which features Traci on guest vocals and also deals with the exploitation of women by the porn industry.”

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Manic Street Preachers – Little Baby Nothing

Now, a few moments ago, babylotti made reference to the Worst Record of the Week, and surprisingly, in a week where we’ve already mentioned Bob the Builder, there were very few of these this week. Few, but not none.

Step forwards SWC:

“The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead takes us to A recent poll in a magazine in which ‘More Than Words’ by impossibly awful hair bear band Xtreme was voted as the ‘worst ballad of all time’. This was a song that was my sisters first dance at her wedding and a song on a cassette that I once reversed my car over around 19 times.”

A small admin point here: I’m taking the link to be bands whose names start with an X? In which case, sorry to break the news, but they were called Extreme, not Xtreme. But, under the weather as I may be, Spurs have just managed to finally win a game in the Champions League (better late than never, eh?), so I’m feeling magnanimous and I’ll let it slide this time:

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Extreme – More Than Words

Actually, there’s another reason I’m posting that; remember that annoying ex-flatmate I mentioned last week? Genuinely, that was one of his favourite records.

Okay, time for a shift, or a time shift, maybe. Here’s Alex G from We Will Have Salad (I’m going to keep linking to your blog until you start writing stuff again by the way):

“From Wiltshire’s second most popular rock group to its first: “Stonehenge” by Spinal Tap, please.”

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Spinal Tap – Stonehenge

Of course, it’d be sacrilege for me to post that and not also post this:

 

And whilst we’re on out-dated sounding bands from the 70s, here’s a suggestion from George:

“Right. Worst record of the week. Here goes. Also from Swindon was Diana Dors, who was married to Alan Lake, leading to Emerson Lake and Palmer and a record I bought for a pound (and was described to me in the record shop as a terrible record, and they were right) Pictures At An Exhibition, and side 1 track 2 The Gnome. Complete and utter tripe.”

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Emerson Lake & Palmer – The Gnome

He’s got a point, hasn’t he, readers?

Okay, where next? We haven’t had any Peter links yet, have we? Let’s sort that out.

Selection number two from Alyson:

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The Art of Noise feat. Duane Eddy – Peter Gunn

Back to George next:

“I suggest The Shock Headed Peters and ‘I, Blood Brother Be’. Swiss Adam is a fan of that song too, he posted it once. The six and a half minute version please.”

No. Have the six minutes forty two second version instead:

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Shock Headed Peters – I, Bloodbrother Be (£4,000 Love Letter)

Over to Kuttowski from A Few Good Times in My Life. As you will see shortly – and this is my introducing yet another element of suspense – I have had to disqualify his first suggestion. Until the moment of that big reveal, though:

“Far back in time, when punk ruled my life for a bit I was addicted to Peter and the Test Tube Babies. Fast, mean and straight was the main things they gave me at these times. So I would like to suggest their ‘Banned From The Pubs’.”

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Peter and The Test Tube Babies – Banned From the Pubs

I’m not surprised they were banned from pubs. Test Tube Babies are way under age, even if they are accompanied by a consenting adult.

Time to head over to Muso Corner and see what some of our regulars have rustled up for us this week.

Here’s Martin again: “Andy Partridge of XTC was originally going to produce Blur’s ‘Modern Life Is Rubbish’ but, at the label’s insistence, was subbed, and Stephen Street was drafted in like an indie supply teacher. Cue career-redefining album and the salvation of the band. All of which is my excuse for pitching Colin Zeal by Blur, from ‘Modern Life’ …”

Well pitched sir. You’ll be on the creative team on The Apprentice in no time!

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Blur – Colin Zeal

And joining Martin in Muso Corner this week, it’s The Swede from Unthought of, though, somehow:

“‘Peter Pumpkinhead’ was produced by the late Gus Dudgeon, most famous for twiddling the knobs on many of Sir Reginald of Pinner’s greatest hits, though also among his credits are two albums by The Bonzo Dog Band (post Doo-Dah). From the second of these, ‘Tadpoles’, I’d like to suggest ‘Canyons of Your Mind’.”

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Bonzo Dog Band – Canyons of Your Mind

“(There’s a rather splendid TV performance of the song on YouTube if you’re looking for a video to post this week.)” The Swede rather helpfully suggests. Well, I wasn’t, but since I think the clip you’re referring to is actually where I know the song from, it would be churlish of me not to:

Back now to SWC, with “a proper suggestion”. And when he says, “a proper suggestion” he means “a proper suggestion”:

“If I remember this song correctly it had a dodgy reference in it to crucifixion – something about being nailed to a chunk of wood…?”

You do remember correctly; in fact it goes:

“Peter Pumpkinhead was too good
Had him nailed to a chunk of wood
He died grinning on live TV
Hanging there he looked a lot like you
And an awful lot like me!”

“So the obvious link to that is ‘Reverence’ by the Jesus and Mary Chain.”

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The Jesus & Mary Chain – Reverence

“I’m only hoping,” winds up SWC, “that the real link is nothing to do with Crash Test Dummies.”

I’m not sure I understand that reference. Still, with a bit of luck, someone will explain it to me soon enough.

Here’s Alex G again:

“‘The Ballad Of Peter Pumpkinhead’ was later a minor hit for Crash Test Dummies via the soundtrack of ‘Dumb and Dumber’ [Oh, I see! Thanks!]. So going with the link of “original recordings of songs subjected to ‘quirky’ cover versions on the Dumb and Dumber soundtrack”, I would like to suggest “Get Ready” by The Temptations.”

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The Temptations – Get Ready

Penned by Smokey Robinson when he was still called William, and covered by The Proclaimers of all people on the above named soundtrack, I think that may be my favourite record of the week. It’s certainly my “Best Dressed for a Single Sleeve” winner of the week.

Time for more Dumb and Dumber relayed madness from Rigid Digit of Stuff & Nonsense:

“As mentioned above, covered by Crash Test Dummies for the ‘Dumb and Dumber’ soundtrack, Crash Test Dummies are best known for going “Mmm!” a lot. That single was a huge seller (and after a while hugely annoying). The parent album (God Shuffled His Feet) is worth a listen, as is the follow-up single ‘Afternoons and Coffeespoons'”

Maybe time has dulled it’s ability to irritate, but I listened to “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” after you mentioned it, first time I’d heard it in years, and it wasn’t as bad as I recalled. It’s his voice that’s really annoying, I think. Still, I don’t know anything else by them, so let’s have a listen and see if he’s always like that:

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Crash Test Dummies – Afternoons & Coffeespoons

Nope still annoying.

Ok, time for some links to the band’s names, and here’s Alyson back for her third, which is actually her first, choice:

“The band ABC (another 3-letter one) with one of their early ’80s ‘Lexicon of Love’ tracks such as ‘Poison Arrow'”

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ABC – Poison Arrow

But there’s an elephant in the room here. And what do you need when there’s an elephant in the room? A Badger to expose it, that’s what:

“XTC is a quick way of spelling ecstasy which when shortened is just E which leads us to Ebenezer Goode by The Shamen.”

Anybody got any Vera’s? Lavely.

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The Shamen – Ebeneezer Goode

I’ve been a bit quiet on the suggestion front this week, so here’s a couple from me in a similar vein. Firstly, a song which is even less subtle than Ebenezer Goode as to the topic in question:

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E-Zee Possee – Everything Starts With an E

That was co-written by Boy George under the name Angela Dust (see what he did there?), and released on his More Protein label – who knew he was into drugs? Oh yeh, sorry, everybody.

And whilst we’re being all unsubtle, here’s The Beard:

“XTC, as already stated, sounds like ecstasy so…

E, Ecstasy
M, Motherfucker, motherfucker
F, From us to you

EMF (Live At The Bilson) by, erm, EMF.”

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EMF – E.M.F. (Live At The Bilson)

That was the B-side to their smash “Unbelievable” single, and I remember there being quite the furore in some of the red-tops when they flipped the record over and found out what EMF stands for. Other interesting facts: one of the band (Derry…?) used to have a party trick where he inserted a whole orange under his foreskin. That’s not the sort of party I ever want to be invited to, thank you very much.

Still, more fine E related skull-doggery is afoot, with this suggestion from Swiss Adam from Bagging Area, which wins my “Oh, Is That What That Tune’s Called!!” Award of the Week:

“XTC, as several people have pointed out, is also a name of a popular rave drug. It is chanted throughout Joey Beltram’s monstrously good Energy Flash.”

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Joey Beltram – Energy Flash

Next, and finally in this drug-fuelled frenzy, a bloody great record, given a bloody great remix, by the bloody great Basement Jaxx:

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Missy “Misdemeanour” Elliott – 4 My People (Basement Jaxx Remix)

Now, earlier on, I mentioned that I had to disqualify a suggestion by Kuttowski, this one to be precise:

“XTC were an art-rock band from Swindon and were much more as the average in these days. So it would great to listen to their Making Plans For Nigel once again.”

I don’t disagree, but here at The Chain we need a link to be more than just “X band also did X song”, the suggestion needs to be more than that.

But, I’ll tell you what, how about I give you a tune which has the music from “Making Plans” but something else over the top if it? I’m talking, of course, about one of them there “mash-ups”; as a whole I’m not a great fan of the genre – yes, they’re often very clever but equally often the producer over eggs it, assumes the listener needs it explaining, and includes the vocal from the backing track when it really isn’t required, spoiling it.

This is one of the better ones, mixing Tweet featuring Missy Elliott’s “Oops (Oh My)” with the aforementioned XTC tune. Give it a listen:

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Go Home Productions – Making Plans For Vinyl

And since we’re, sort of, on Nigel, here’s Julian back for another go:

“Nigel was going to work for British Steel, which of course leads one to Sheffield steel with which the knife in ‘This Is England’ by The Clash was made of.”

Phew! For a moment there, I thought you were going to suggest Judas Priest…

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The Clash – This Is England

You thought we’d finished with the pumpkin related tunes a while ago, didn’t you? Well, as it happens, we haven’t, I was saving a couple back.

Here’s George again:

“A pumpkin is a member of the squash family, and in the 1970s there was a squash player called Jonah Barrington (who stormed out of Superstars for some reason ,but I might be wrong there), and Barrington Levy is a reggae artist, so I suggest his diddly-diddly-wah-hoo song ‘Here I Come’.”

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Barrington Levy – Here I Come

Now that link got me thinking. Are pumpkins members of the squash family? A bit of research reveals this:

“Pumpkins, squash and gourds are members of the enormously diverse Cucurbitaceae family, which contains more than 100 genera and over 700 species.”

So, George, you’re close enough, suggestion allowed.

But wait…pumpkins, squash and gourds you say? Brace yourselves, I feel a couple of puns coming on, which are actually just an excuse for me to post two of the greatest records ever written:

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The Beach Boys – Gourd Only Knows

Somebody really should have checked the spelling on that sleeve before they released it.

And just in case you don’t get it:

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Teenage Fanclub – Gourd Knows It’s True (Peel Session)

Time to tie up one more loose end now, and it’s back to Charity Chic, who you will recall is due to post a record worse than Big Star’s “The Ballad of El Goodo”, which really shouldn’t prove too difficult:

“XTC to Andy Partridge to the Partridge Family to David Cassidy and Daydreamer.”

Nailed it.

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David Cassidy – Daydreamer

Since we’re on Partridges – and I know you’re expecting me to post a video clip to a bit of Alan Partridge, but I’m not going to -here’s something seasonal from The Great Gog:

“Now it’s December, there is a well-known song that features the word partridge rather a lot. My favourite version of this tune actually DOESN’T contain the word partridge, and despite many listens over the years, I do still find it mildly amusing – The Twelve Days Of Christmas by Bill Barclay.”

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Bill Barclay – 12 Days of Christmas

If you like that, you’ll like this too:

Ok then, to round things up, here’s a wee message from Andy Partridge himself, which I picked up on one of those “Late Night Tales” compilations a few years ago, this one compiled by Helmut, and it seems rather apt:

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Andy Partridge – History Of Rock And Roll

And that’s it for our suggestions this week. Here’s the next link in The Official Chain:

“Frank Zappa’s record label was called Barking Pumpkin, so…”

cover_564742611201032. Frank Zappa – Valley Girl

So, your suggestions please, via the Comments section below, for records that you can link, and explain the link in your suggestion, to Frank Zappa’s “Valley Girl”.

See you next week!

(I am contractually obliged to also write: More soon.)