Adverts.
I hate them.
The first thing I need to say is that the other day I went onto my blog to see if I had posted a song before, and I was shocked to find lots of adverts popping up within the text of whatever I had written.
Please, don’t ever click on to those adverts. They’re nothing to do with me.
But also: have you noticed that thing they now do on Channel 4? (Maybe on ITV and 5 too, but I never record anything on those channels so I can’t say for sure.)
Okay, so picture the scene: you have recorded a programme on Channel 4. There is an ad break, so you fast forward through them. You look for the signal that the show you’vee recorded is about to start again. And that signal is this: a Channel 4 advert for an upcoming Channel 4 show.
You press play.
But they’ve started putting these in the middle of the ad break, so that you press play thinking your recorded programme is about to start again. But it isn’t, it’s just a way of getting you to watch the second batch of adverts.
Cunning bastards.
Anyway, much as I hate adverts, and their appropriation of songs I like, sometimes I do have to concede that at least the song in question has been chosen well.
For example: I love this song, and initially bristled when, having pressed play too soon, I found it had been hijacked for an advert.
It’s in an advert for a range of mattresses, so through very gritted teeth, I had to admit it was at the very least an apt choice. (And as someone whose very stock is based around choosing a vaguely fitting songs to illustrate a point, it would be somewhat churlish of me to object anyone else doing the same.)
Anyway, here’s the song in question:
As an aside: is it just me, or has the amount of companies trying to sell us artisan mattresses massively increased over the past year or so? And for each of them, the USP is the same:
- You can (literally) sleep on your purchase for a while, and if you don’t like it, you can return it, and
- It comes in a box and magically unfolds, like a pop-up tent, when you open it.
Have you ever tried to pack away one of those pop-up tents? They’re utter, utter bastards, steadfastly refusing to be packed away again, so God knows how difficult it is to try and cram a mattress back into a box.
If you listen to podcasts regularly, you’ll have become familiar with these sorts of products some time ago, for they are one of a select band to have adopted popular podcasts as their weapon of choice.
You’ll have noticed the same companies popping up on a carousel between them. The main cuplrits are: mattress companies, Harry’s (the razor company), Beer52 and The Economist, all of whom proffer a special offer or discount if you go to their website and enter a special code…and I find myself thinking: it can’t be that special, it was on No Such Thing as a Fish last week.
But I digress.
As I was saying, much as it boils my piss to have songs I love inserted into an advert to sell something, occasionally I have to tip my hat and concede they have chosen well (And then find another way to slag them off, as you have just witnessed).
But then sometimes I find myself thinking: what the flipping flip is this song doing here?
For example: what is it about The Connells really quite lovely 74-75 that made some advertising smarty-pants think it was an appropriate record to soundtrack the bathroom section of DIY hardware store B&Q?
If you’re looking for a tune to soundtrack the sale of bathroom features and fittings, then surely this would be a better choice?:
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Up Around The Bend
Actually, now I think about it perhaps not: when selling bathroom fixtures the very last thing you want to advertise is that things might come back up and around the (U-)bend, post-flush…
Ewwwww……
*hastily rewrites CV*
More soon.
A History of Dubious Taste 