Friday Night Christmas Club 2023

I think it’s fair to say that when it comes to doing Christmas mixes, I’m scarred by one I did previously.

I’ve probably told this story before; if I have, sorry, feel free to skip on to the tunes. If not, then read on.

When I still flat-shared, with Hel and a couple of randoms, knowing my love of preparing a playlist, I was charged with providing the music to soundtrack our Xmas do. The remit was simple: we’re going to get drunk, we want Xmas songs to sing and dance to whilst that happens.

Now, Xmas songs broadly fall into two categories:

1. Hoorah! It’s Christmas!!! Let’s get shit-faced!! and
2. It’s Christmas, let’s pause and reflect and be all meaningful and stuff,

I spent hours scouring t’internet for suitable tunes, figuring the moody reflective stuff would serve as punctuation, allowing us to sit down amongst the party poppers and pulled crackers and have a bit of a breather after the relentless knees-up and conga-ing from the livelier tunes.

Having sorted some five hours worth of tunes, alas I ran out of time to actually structure the playlist. But hey! I thought, that’s what the shuffle function is for!

Cue the most unmitigated disaster of a Xmas party ever, as shuffle chose to pick out every miserable, blue blue Christmas-esque tune on the playlist, without even the slightest sniff of Shaky, the briefest bit of Boney M or nod towards Noddy. I think we were all in bed by 10:30.

Mindful of this, this week’s mix is Christmassy, but split into two sections: the usual slow burners at the start, followed by Party Time! (with a teensiest little dip back into the slow burners again…you’ll see why…).

Oh, and those of you still playing Whamaggedon!, fret not, Last Christmas doesn’t feature. (If you know, you know…at the time of writing, I’ve still not heard it….)

I’ll shut up and just get on with it, shall I?

Here’s some Christmas songs to rock your Christmas world: some old classics, some cover versions, some uncovered originals, all designed to get you in a Christmas kinda mood (eventually):

Friday Night Christmas Club 2023

1. LCD Soundsystem – Christmas Will Break Your Heart

No. I know. Not a band that you’d expect to find has done a Christmas record. It’s reliably, morosely, ace though.

2. Smith & Burrows – When the Thames Froze

That’s Tom Smith of Editors fame, and Andy Burrows of Razorlight…er…fame. This came out in 2011, and is included here because it’s lovely, but also because of a lyric which, sadly, remains topical – probably more so than it did at the time – 12 years later:

Goddamn, this government
Will they ever tell me where the money went?
Protesters march out on the street
As young men sleep amongst the feet

3. Laura Marling – Goodbye England (Covered In Snow)

I’m sorry. I can’t forgive her for being at least partly responsible for the rise of the execrable Mumford & Sons, no matter how many songs as goddamn wonderful as this she releases.

It sounds nothing like it, but I’m strangely reminded of Kate Bush’s wonderful Christmas song.

4. Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan – Time of the Season

It’ll pick up soon, I promise. Until then, here’s the 21st century’s Nancy & Lee, doing what they do best. This pops up on Hawk, their third and final album (it’s extremely unlikely there will be a fourth…), which in case you’re interested is way better than their second album Sunday at Devil Drive, but nowhere near as good as their debut Ballad of the Broken Seas. But then, very little is.

5. Tracey Thorn – Tinsel and Lights

Typically gorgeous stuff from the former Everything But The Girl girl singer. I don’t think I need to elaborate, do I? I hate the phrase “does what it says on the tin”, but it is annoyingly appropriate here. It’s Tracey Thorn being Christmassy – what do you expect it’s going to sound like, other than gorgeous?

6. Linda Lewis – Winter Wonderland

Linda sadly passed away earlier this year. She’s probably best known here in the UK for three things (if that many): 70s singles Rock-a-Doodle-Doo, her version of Betty Everett’s The Shoop Shoop Song (which was later made even more famous by Cher), and for providing the vocals on Midfield General’s lovely Reach Out, which you can hear here.

7. Pastor T.L. Barrett and The Youth for Christ Choir – Jingle Bells, Pt. 1

A couple of weeks ago, in the middle of the day, there was a knock at my door. I was expecting a delivery, so I answered. Bargain Hunt can always be paused. It turned out it wasn’t the purchases I was waiting for, but some chap who was doing a poll about the nation’s radio listening habits. I agreed to participate for three reasons: firstly, because I got the impression that not many others had (he seemed genuinely surprised someone had answered the door so he had chance to use his rehearsed and relentlessly jovial patter); secondly, I’ve never known anyone who was asked to do this kind of thing, and when I see the results of some survey or other, I often find myself thinking: ‘Who the bloody hell did they ask to get that result?’; and thirdly because I’m aware that certain BBC radio stations – primarily 6Music – are constantly under threat of the axe. Maybe I can be of some help, thought I.

The only problem: I rarely, if at all, listen to the radio these days.

I was tasked with logging my daily listening routine for the following week. I didn’t want to make my responses up, so I made the effort to engage.

Why am I telling you this? Because on one of those days, the ever-lovely Lauren Laverne played this thing of gospel beauty, and I simply had to track it down to include here. You’re welcome (and thanks Lauren!)

8. The Northern Soul Orchestra – Christmas Is Sooner Than You Think

You’ll hopefully have noticed the pace is picking up now, albeit slowly. I was really pleased when I found that lurking amongst all of the Northern Soul compilation albums I’ve downloaded (legally) recently, was this corker. My only gripe? I think that Christmas is on Monday. I’ve checked my calendar and everything. It definitely is.

9. The Ronettes – Sleigh Ride

Right, if you haven’t already, then crank the volume up. More than any other, this is the song that, to me, means Christmas is here, which is why it’s the one of only two songs (I think) to feature in both playlists (last year and this). Lifted from the greatest Christmas album ever (NOW Christmas doesn’t count, and still isn’t as good anyway), A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector, it’s a much nicer gift than, say, shooting actresses in the face.

Altogether now: Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding!

10. Emmy The Great & Tim Wheeler – Marshmallow World

Emmy and TimfromAsh were a couple when they released their This Is Christmas album – from which this cover of the Darlene Love classic comes – back in 2011. No idea if they’re still together, and not especially interested either. This isn’t Heat magazine. What does interest me is how they managed to Wizzard this one up. You’ll see what I mean.

11. Girls Aloud – I Wanna Kiss You So (Christmas in a Nutshell)

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without The Girls. Here they are getting all romantic in the snow, and managing to outdo The Ronettes in the nonsense lyrics stakes.

Bish Bash Bong Whoo! indeed. Wise words, mate-esses.

12. The Raveonettes – The Christmas Song

Foot off the gas for a moment, but don’t worry, things will pick up again shortly. Despite it’s title, this isn’t that one about chestnuts roasting on an open fire (you’re standing too close to it, mate. And put some strides on for Pete’s sake). I needed an “…and relax…” song to lead into the next tune, and this little beauty from Danish duo Sune Rose Wagner and Sharin Foo fits the bill perfectly.

13. Shane MacGowan & The Popes – Christmas Lullaby (Version #1)

Sure, it sounds like a rejected album track from his days with The Pogues, but that doesn’t make it any less special. A reminder of the talent we lost this year. And that it’s Christmas in Palestine.

14. The Fall – Jingle Bell Rock

And we’re off again! Somehow it just seemed right to stick Shane next to Mark E Smith. It’s not exactly universally loved by fans of The Fall, this, but Friday night on Oxford Street/Walking with green M&S bags/Join them up with old beef and sprouts always raises a smile around these parts.

15. The Dickies – Silent Night

See, they didn’t just do that cover of The Banana Splits theme tune.

16. Sultans of Ping – Xmas Bubblegum Machine

Told you things would pick up again, right? Here’s the Sultans with their ode to that most Christmassy of artefacts (ahem): the bubblegum machine.

17. Shonen Knife – Space Christmas

The two tunes which made it on to both Christmas mixes I’ve done (the last was in 2021) are simply my favourite Christmas records ever. This should be one of yours too. Simplistic oddball Christmas cheer: awesome.

18. Saint Etienne feat. Tim Burgess – I Was Born On Christmas Day

It doesn’t happen often, but I’ve done some research: National Treasure Tim ws born on 30th May. St Etienne singer Sarah Cracknell, was born on 12th April. Bandmate Pete Wiggs entered this world on 15th May. Liars.

Oh wait…other bandmate (and hero to pretty much every muso I know) Bob Stanley actually was born on 25th December.

As you were.

19. The Polyphonic Spree – Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

If you don’t stop and think about it, this is a lovely, hopeful and positive way to round things off. But if you do happen to stop and think about it, you realise that it’s not a Christmas record at all: it’s an anti-war song with a Christmas message and some jingly bells tagged on to give it commercial clout. Not that there’s anything wrong with anti-war songs, of course. It’s just that if the last couple of years have taught us anything, it’s that war most definitely is not over.

War might not be over, but this mix is.

More soon. Merry Christmas.

It’s Chriiiistmas!!!

Of course, it was only a couple of weeks ago that I mentioned I was reluctant to do any posts involving Christmas songs. My how times have changed.

There was a reason for this, other than thinking you’d all be sick of hearing Christmas songs by now. Let me take you back a few years.

I was still sharing a flat with Hel, and she, along with our two other flatmates (I say two, I actually mean one other official flatmate and his girlfriend who practically moved in on the same day as he did) suggested we had a Friday night in, just the four of us (so I’m reluctant to call it a House Party, although that’s exactly what it was) and they asked me to do a Christmas playlist to last the night.

I spent the next few weeks finding songs to fill a few hours, my idea to be structure them into sequences of three or four upbeat cheerful ones to have a bit of a dance to, then a slower one or two for us to sit down, catch our breaths, and of course, have a ciggie. And more booze.

Alas, time caught up with me, and I didn’t have chance to fashion them into any kind of order, so I elected to simply put the playlist on shuffle and hope for the best.

You can guess what happened next. My iPod decided to get the ratios the wrong way round, merrily skipping to six or seven slow, depressing Christmas plodders in a row, then chucking in Shaky’s “Merry Christmas Everyone” to lull us into a false sense of security, before reverting back to the death dirges again.

Needless to say, it was not the joyous Christmas knees-up that had been requested. I think we were all in bed by 10.30.

Well, they say that what doesn’t break you makes you stronger, so I thought I’d post a few of the less cheerful songs today, just to temper those Christmas spirits, you understand.

First up, breathy songstress Isobel Campbell and gravel-throated Mark Lanegan, from their excellent third album “Hawk”:

Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan – Time of the Season

Next up, a slightly more upbeat track by an actual couple (at the time anyway, I’ve no idea whether they still are) from what is one of my favourite Christmas albums of recent years:

Emmy the Great & Tim Wheeler – Home for the Holidays

Could that sleeve be any more twee indie?

A few songs by female artistes now, and taken from her breakthrough album “I Speak Because I Can” (I call it her breakthrough album partly because it was the first thing I ever heard by her, but also because by now she had ditched Mumford & Sons, who I seem to remember used to be her backing band at some point, but I’m buggered if I can find any reference to this anywhere, so maybe I dreamt it):

Laura Marling – Goodbye England (Covered In Snow)

Moving swiftly on, here’s a bona fide female icon performing a rather over-looked single. Released back in 1980, shortly after her second album “Never for Ever”, I think I had managed to completely avoid hearing this until one of those Top of the Pops 2 Christmas Specials came on last year. You know the kind of thing, where Steve Wright, or more latterly Mark Radcliffe, make super lame jokes about the clip he’s introducing. Whoever would do such a thing? (*coughs…looks guiltily around*)  Needless to say, it’s an absolute joy:

Kate Bush – December Will Be Magic Again

A word of warning. When I was searching for the sleeve for that single, I actually mistyped her name, writing Hate Bush by mistake. Let me tell you, that brings up a whole different set of search results than I had been expecting, only about 2% of which referred to the former US President.

Mind you, “Hate Bush” would be an excellent slogan for a t-shirt, like those “Brian Maiden” ones which were doing the rounds a few years ago. Does me typing it here count as my having copyrighted it?

(Why do I think there was one of those t-shirts about Motorhead too…? Ah yes, a certain someone I know once got Iron Maiden and Motorhead mixed up and accidentally referred to them as “Maidenhead”. Pffft! You know who you are!)

Anyway, you want iconic female singers doing slightly unhappy songs about Christmas? Well, you came to the right place, I got ’em. How about some nice Joni Mitchell:

Joni Mitchell – River

Actually, I have a confession to make about that choice: I was rather hoping I’d be able to track down Michael Ball’s version somewhere, but have had no joy. Ho Hum. There’s always next year.

Anyway, never mind that its opening melody is “Jingle Bells” in a minor key and that the lyrics begin with a seasonal scene: “It’s coming on Christmas, they’re cutting down trees/They’re putting up reindeer, singing songs of joy and peace.” Ultimately, “River” is a bereft song about a broken romance and a woman who desperately wants to escape her heartbreak, saying repeatedly: “I wish I had a river I could skate away on.”

Well Joni, this must be your lucky day!

Smith & Burrows -When The Thames Froze

For the unitiated, that’s Tom Smith – lead singer from Editors – and Andy Burrows who you will no doubt recognise as being the drummer from Razorlight (and now of We Are Scientists, apparently). So, proper indie royalty then (*ahem*)

Speaking of Indie Royalty, hands up who remembers this lot? Pretty huge a little while back weren’t they?

The Killers – Boots

Three to go for today, two of which are from artists that I have banged on about an awful lot on these pages. Firstly it’s Gruff Rhys, lead singer of Super Furry Animals, from his bloody-wonderful-but-then-I-would-say-that-wouldn’t-I? “Atheist Xmas EP”:

Gruff Rhys – Post-Apocalypse Christmas

Think yourself lucky I didn’t post (and I shit you not, I haven’t made this up) “Slashed Wrists This Christmas” from the same EP. Still brilliant, but maybe a little too dark for tonight’s post.

Instead, something which could quite easily have cropped up in my “From Leeds With Love” series, had I actually been arsed to write any of them for a while; yes, it’s The Wedding Present covering Sir Elton:

The Wedding Present – Step Into Christmas

And lastly for today, before you get all cheerful again, this, two minutes of a newscaster reading horrible headlines about how terrible everything is whilst the evil ones from The Detectorists sing “Silent Night” in the background:

Simon & Garfunkel – 7 O’Clock News/Silent Night

Now, tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I’ll be travelling home to spend Christmas with my parents, so there may, or may not, be a post-tomorrow, depending on whether I get all of the things done in time that I need to. Which you could take to be a cover story to obscure the fact that I am actually Father Christmas. You might think that, I couldn’t possibly comment.

More soon.