The Election Section V2.4

Just over a week ago Theresa May and her Arthur Askey look-a-like husband Philip subjected themselves to that most gruelling of interview: an appearance of BBC’s flagship magazine programme The One Show.

Yes, I know this was last week, but it turns out a week really is a long time in politics, especially when you’re racking your brains for a song which you can play in conjunction with a passing snide comment.

So, Theresa and Phil rocked up on The One Show couch for an intense grilling from professional Welsh lady Alex Jones and Matt “Me! Matt Baker” Baker.

Former Blue Peter presenter and current Countryfile host Baker had made a bit of a name for himself back in 2011, when in a similarly tough bit of interviewing he, inadvertently I think, asked shiny ham faced David Cameron “How on earth do you sleep at night?”

So, what tough questions did the Mays have to face? Well, predictably, none, obviously. Although you’ll by now be aware of the fuss caused by Mrs May’s assertion that “there are girls jobs and boys jobs”. Because, you know, if, as the Tory-backed press would have us believe, Labour want to take Britain back to the 1970s, then Mrs May wants to up the ante and take us back to the 1950s.

When Alex Jones asked the PM whether or not it was true that she had wanted to Prime Minister since a very young age. “I don’t recognise that”, was her response, presumably because it was a question which hadn’t been vetted in advance by one of her press gang.

Mr May’s answer was a little different: “I only heard her saying she wanted to be prime minister when she joined the shadow cabinet”, which seemed a personally reasonable, ‘neither for a long time nor particularly recently’ middle of the ground, answer to give.

When Cameron resigned and May, having kept her pro-Remain opinions as hidden as she possibly could during the EU Referendum, played her reluctant “Oh, if I must…” nominee role, so this answer, that she had designs on the hot seat since 1999, didn’t really fit her narrative. Hence it invoking the May Death Stare:

 4023EF8F00000578-4489906-image-a-8_1494365928888

I hope Philip was comfortable on The One Show couch, for I rather suspect he’d be sleeping on one when he got home.

So, something appropriate:

R-524648-1215938927_jpeg

Goldie Lookin Chain – Your Missus is a Nutter (album version)

Before I go, a reminder: if you want to have a say in the forthcoming election – and  if you’re a UK citizen old enough to vote I can’t for the life of me think why on earth you wouldn’t want to – you need to be registered to vote by May 22nd. Go here to make sure you have a voice on June 8th.

More soon.

Friday Night Music Club

Evening all.

Just so you know, this week’s selection comes with one of those Parental Guidance stickers right across it.

Also, I’m writing this with the Wales v France match on the TV in the background, so if this is posted a little later than usual, you’ll know why.

Let’s get straight to it; we’ll pick up where we left off last week and a song that in all honesty should be the theme tune to this thread:

saint-etienne-join-our-club-heavenly

132. St Etienne – Join Our Club

Released in 1992, as you can see as a double A-side with “People get Real”, which the band had wanted to release as a single in its own right, but met opposition from their record label, Heavenly. So, they set about creating the most commercial record they could, and “Join Our Club” was the result. This was the second single to feature Sarah Cracknell, after founder members Bob Stanley and Pete Wiggs had ditched the idea of using a variety of lead singers – a concept which features (and works, but very little that St Etienne produces doesn’t) heavily on their debut album “Foxbase Alpha”, but which the duo decided against once they had worked with La Cracknell.

Next, to New Young Pony Cub (or NYPC as they are apparently now known), and this oft-over-looked single from their second album:

500x500

133. New Young Pony Club – We Want To

New Young Pony Club are one of those bands that don’t really ever seem to have quite broken through, despite supporting Lily Allen on an early tour, and also claiming a spot on the 2007 NME Indie Rave Tour, along with the likes of CSS, The Sunshine Underground, and Klaxons. I suspect that CSS and Klaxons, indie-press darlings that they were at the time, probably gained most of the attention on that tour.

An ex-flatmate of mine told me once that the next band had won some TV talent show or another – suffice it to say it was The X Factor – but since he also once tried to convince me that every song title on Andrew W.K.’s “I Get Wet” album has the word “Party” in it, and since his favourite groups were Kasabian and Mumford & Sons, and since he once came home telling me he’d just heard the most awesome Britpop band ever (he was talking about Longpigs, who you know, are alright and of course gave us Richard Hawley, but…), and since he used to eat Doritos whilst sitting on the toilet, I am, frankly, sceptical. If he’s right about any of those points (particularly the Doritos bit), I’m sure one of you will enlighten me.

Anyway, here’s:

CS1409627-02A-BIG

134. Fangs – S.I.C.K.O.

And well, that leads me rather nicely onto this:

the-charlatans-weirdo-1992-4

135. The Charlatans – Weirdo

When you think about it, it’s a miracle that The Charlatans are still going, let alone that they’ve been one of the most consistent UK singles bands for the past twenty-going-on-thirty years; when they started out they were considered little more than Madchester wannabes (a tag which, I’m pleased to say, they’ve consistently proved wrong on many times since, having outlived all of the main scene protagonists. No need for The Charlatans to reform, nosireebob. And no seven year wait for a second album, either) and they’ve constantly been beset with drama and tragedy. In 1992, original keyboard player Rob Collins managed to get himself mixed up in an armed robbery being committed by a friend, and unwittingly ended up being his getaway driver. He ended up getting a four month stretch at Her Majesty’s Pleasure for that. Rob’s car related bad luck didn’t end there though: he was killed in a car crash in 1996. In 2013, drummer Jon Brookes died from a brain tumour that had been diagnosed in 2010.

But The Charlatans always seem to bounce back, and of all the varied and wonderful singles they’ve released, “Weirdo” is probably my favourite, not least because the 12″ single contains the US version of “Sproston Green” which they always, but always, end their live sets with.

Anyway, since we seem to have drifted into the territory of songs with vaguely insulting titles, we may as well have the king of such things:

R-448977-1114948646_jpg

136. Goldie Lookin’ Chain – Your Mother’s Got A Penis

You have to love ’em, don’t ya?

Well, we’re now into Parental Guidance time, so please only continue if you are above the age of 18 and have the bill-payer’s permission. Or something.

Have they all gone? Good, then I’ll continue.

A song now that I mentioned in passing on these pages some time ago:

fatboy-slim-star-69-what-the-393387

137. Fatboy Slim – Star 69

…and which I’m therefore not going to dwell on any further here. It just fits here, okay?

Many years ago, when I was working as a “chef” in a motorway service station restaurant, I bunked off one Sunday to spend the day with my friend Richard, who had invited me and a few others round for a day of roast dinner, drinking and watching films. The only film I can recall that we actually watched that day was “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” starring Whoopi Goldberg. I remember nothing about the plot.

So why am I mentioning this now, I hear you wonder? Well, the only thing that I do remember is Richard commenting that “Nobody swears like Whoopi swears”. That may have been true in 1986, but no longer I fear. I say this not in any kind of “Kids of today, eh?” rhetoric, but because…well…here’s Peaches:

CS1244406-02A-BIG

138. Peaches – Fuck The Pain Away

Saucy.

And speaking of sauce, no selection of rudeness would be complete without a nod in the direction of the Purple One:

prince-and-the-npg-sexy-mf-album-version-paisley-park

139. Prince – Sexy M.F.

Much as Fatboy knew that releasing a single with the words “What the Fuck” repeated quite a few times was unlikely to attract much airplay and so tucked it away as a AA-side, Prince knew to abbreviate his title and provide an edited version for radio use.

A change of pace now. Just as bands often punctuate their live sets with slower songs to give the audience a chance to get their breath back, so does Friday Night Music Club, and the moment has arrived where I get to do one of the things I love to do most these days: have a good sit down.

Still room for some abbreviated swears though.

John_Grant_-_Pale_Green_Ghosts

140. John Grant – GMF

And whilst we’re having a few moments of quiet cursing, here’s eels, who aren’t afraid to dispense with the abbreviations:

Eels-Daisies_Of_The_Galaxy

141. eels – It’s A Motherfucker

Many years ago, I had a (now ex) friend round at my place once when I happened to play “Gorecki” by Lamb. If you don’t know the song, it’s a quite, quite beautiful, fragile thing, not a million miles away from Massive Attack’s “Teardrop”, neither of which would be out of place in my “Late Night Stargazing” thread (and which will feature there soonish, once I stop thinking of songs I’d rather post there). Anyway, she had never heard it before, and made me play it another two or three times. As she loved it so much, I did what I often do when someone tells me they like a song I’ve played them: I made her a mix CD with it on.

She was very grateful. Or rather, she would have been had I not, in her words, “totally ruined it” by placing this song immediately afterwards:

tenacious

142. Tenacious D – Fuck Her Gently

I am 46 and single. That may go some way to explaining why.

It seems appropriate, then, that I post this next: a band that I’m quite simply staggered to see I’ve not posted anything by here before. This is something I shall have to rectify immediately:

Teenage+Fanclub+Mellow+Doubt+453803

143. Teenage Fanclub – Some People Try to Fuck With You

I went to see The Fannies (see? even their nickname is rude) in Bristol about ten years ago, when they were promoting their greatest hits album “Four Thousand Seven Hundred and Sixty-Six Seconds – A Short Cut to Teenage Fanclub”, and I took the opportunity to purchase some official merchandise, namely a t-shirt bearing the band’s moniker upon on it. I have subsequently learned that wearing such a t-shirt gains you some disapproving looks from people who are unaware of the band’s existence. I no longer wear it outside.

It’s not often that I post a Number One single on these pages, but here is one such occasion:

Cee_Lo_Green_-_Fuck_you!

144. Cee Lo Green – Fuck You

Of course, Cee Lo had to change the lyrics to “Forget You” in order that the single might attract any airplay, but we’re having none of that cleaned-up-version nonsense here tonight.

Now to something a lot less well known, which is a shame as it’s rather fine:

The+Bird+And+The+Bee+Fcking+Boyfriend+473868

145. The Bird and The Bee – Fucking Boyfriend

(Apologies if I seem to be rattling through these now. It’s because I am. Got a bit too engrossed in the rugby, see).

So, finally, the closing track from their first album “Life’s Too Good”, an album which properly introduced us to the wonderfully bonkers Bjork (though the Festive Fifty-topping “Birthday” had seriously whetted our appetites). This is one of the few songs in their canon not to include Einar butting in with an incoherent rant, a practice which always came perilously close to spoiling their songs in my book. Almost, but not close enough.

I was once discussing Welsh popsters The Automatic with a work colleague, who bemoaned the presence of Alex Pennie on their early records (Y’know, when they were kinda famous); he hated his vocal style and found him intrusive.

“Ah,” I said, nodding sagely “like Einar from The Sugarcubes.”

He looked at me blankly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I have rarely felt older.

The_Sugarcubes_-_Lifes_Too_Good

146. The Sugarcubes – Fucking In Rhythm And Sorrow

That’ll do you for tonight.

More soon.

The Sample Life

Although their popularity and useage seems to be on the wane somewhat (I have nothing to back this up, as I don’t seem to listen to current music as much as I should) I thought it might be interesting to play you some songs which feature a sample or two, and let you hear the song from whence the sample was ripped. Rippingly good fun, no?

(This might be one of the shortest lived themes ever. I’ve only thought of two so far…..)

Here’s the first:

Goldie-Lookin-Chain-Your-Missus-Is-A-334175 Goldie Lookin’ Chain – Your Missus is a Nutter

This is the song which they played at the Millenium Stadium before the Wales v England World Cup/Euros/Whatever qualifier. They dedicated it to David Beckham, whose wife, Skeletor, was in attendance, if memory serves me right.

No surprises to learn the sample is from this:

Serge_Gainsbourg_Cannabis Serge Gainsbourg – Cannabis

Makes perfect sense, no…?