S.S.O.S. (Stop Spoiling Our Songs)

Adverts.

I hate them.

The first thing I need to say is that the other day I went onto my blog to see if I had posted a song before, and I was shocked to find lots of adverts popping up within the text of whatever I had written.

Please, don’t ever click on to those adverts. They’re nothing to do with me.

But also: have you noticed that thing they now do on Channel 4? (Maybe on ITV and 5 too, but I never record anything on those channels so I can’t say for sure.)

Okay, so picture the scene: you have recorded a programme on Channel 4. There is an ad break, so you fast forward through them. You look for the signal that the show you’vee recorded is about to start again. And that signal is this: a Channel 4 advert for an upcoming Channel 4 show.

You press play.

But they’ve started putting these in the middle of the ad break, so that you press play thinking your recorded programme is about to start again. But it isn’t, it’s just a way of getting you to watch the second batch of adverts.

Cunning bastards.

Anyway, much as I hate adverts, and their appropriation of songs I like, sometimes I do have to concede that at least the song in question has been chosen well.

For example: I love this song, and initially bristled when, having pressed play too soon, I found it had been hijacked for an advert.

It’s in an advert for a range of mattresses, so through very gritted teeth, I had to admit it was at the very least an apt choice. (And as someone whose very stock is based around choosing a vaguely fitting songs to illustrate a point, it would be somewhat churlish of me to object anyone else doing the same.)

Anyway, here’s the song in question:

Moloko – Pure Pleasure Seeker

As an aside: is it just me, or has the amount of companies trying to sell us artisan mattresses massively increased over the past year or so? And for each of them, the USP is the same:

  1. You can (literally) sleep on your purchase for a while, and if you don’t like it, you can return it, and
  2. It comes in a box and magically unfolds, like a pop-up tent, when you open it.

Have you ever tried to pack away one of those pop-up tents? They’re utter, utter bastards, steadfastly refusing to be packed away again, so God knows how difficult it is to try and cram a mattress back into a box.

If you listen to podcasts regularly, you’ll have become familiar with these sorts of products some time ago, for they are one of a select band to have adopted popular podcasts as their weapon of choice.

You’ll have noticed the same companies popping up on a carousel between them. The main cuplrits are: mattress companies, Harry’s (the razor company), Beer52 and The Economist, all of whom proffer a special offer or discount if you go to their website and enter a special code…and I find myself thinking: it can’t be that special, it was on No Such Thing as a Fish last week.

But I digress.

As I was saying, much as it boils my piss to have songs I love inserted into an advert to sell something, occasionally I have to tip my hat and concede they have chosen well (And then find another way to slag them off, as you have just witnessed).

But then sometimes I find myself thinking: what the flipping flip is this song doing here?

For example: what is it about The Connells really quite lovely 74-75 that made some advertising smarty-pants think it was an appropriate record to soundtrack the bathroom section of DIY hardware store B&Q?

The Connells – ’74 – ’75

If you’re looking for a tune to soundtrack the sale of bathroom features and fittings, then surely this would be a better choice?:

Creedence Clearwater Revival – Up Around The Bend

Actually, now I think about it perhaps not: when selling bathroom fixtures the very last thing you want to advertise is that things might come back up and around the (U-)bend, post-flush…

Ewwwww……

*hastily rewrites CV*

More soon.

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I Am The Mouth

Blimey, where does the time go? Has it really been three weeks since I wrote one of these?

Well, this is a pretty straight-forward one.

Moloko were a duo from Sheffield comprising of Mark Brydon (a musician and producer who had previously worked with the likes of Chakk, Sly and Robbie, Human League, Psychic TV, Boy George, Art of Noise, Cabaret Voltaire, Krush and, erm, The Funky Worm) and Róisín Murphy (who hadn’t). The two met at a party in 1994 when Murphy approached Brydon with the chat-up line: “Do you like my tight sweater?” All of my sweaters are tight, I suspect not for the reason that Murphy’s was though.

The only record I’ve ever heard played out by Moloko is “Sing it Back”. That’s a great record, such a great record that today’s choice never gets a look in, which is a shame, because it has exactly the sort of groove, propelled along by a brass riff (I’m sure someone will now point out to me it’s not brass, it’s woodwind, but I’m pretty sure it’s a saxophone) which lends itself to some rather exotic shape pulling on the dancefloor. At least it does in my living room when nobody else is looking and I’ve had a few. Which is often.

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Moloko – Pure Pleasure Seeker

More soon.

Friday Night Music Club

Week Three and we’re ticking along nicely and we’re segueing nicely into a little 80s and 80s-ish period.

dubbegood Beats International – Dub Be Good To Me

R-102690-1170019469_jpeg Freakpower – Turn On, Tune in, Cop Out

R-88784-1252781781_jpeg Moloko – Pure Pleasure Seeker

Intothegroovesinglecover Madonna – Into The Groove

c4d72c66 La Roux – Uptight Downtown

More next week!