July 13, 2019 – A History of Dubious Taste

Robot Man

Sad news from the world of football yesterday, as Peter Crouch announced his retirement from the game.

As well as the 42 caps he won for England, he played for a heck of a lot of clubs in his time (deep breath): he began as a trainee at Tottenham Hotspur (but never made the grade at the time), going on loan to Dulwich Hamlets and IFK Hässleholm, then signed with Queens Park Rangers, followed by Portsmouth, Aston Villa, then on loan to Norwich City, then signed for Southampton, then Liverpool, then back to Portsmouth, then back to Tottenham, then Stoke City and finally to Burnley.

And I think wherever he went, the fans loved him, because he always played with a smile on his face, but also because at 6′ 7″ he didn’t look like a Premiership footballer was supposed to. Sure, unsurprisingly for a man that tall, he holds the record for the most headed goals, but they weren’t all like that. The phrase “great feet for a tall man” was probably invented to describe Crouchy.

Like this one, scored against Galatasary for Liverpool:

Or this one, for Stoke against Manchester City (apologies for the quality of this one, I can’t believe it’s the best I could find):

For many others, he will be remembered for perhaps the greatest quote by any footballer:

Interviewer: If you hadn’t become a professional footballer, what do you think you would have been?

Crouchy: A virgin.

But it was his infamous Robot goal celebration which really catapulted him to stardom:

Which leads me to this, by The Beta Band off-shoot:

The Aliens – Robot Man

So long, Crouchy; thanks for all the goals and grins.

More soon.

50 Ways To I’m Rubbish #15

You’d think that the bulk of the record I regret not buying, once I’d reached the age when regularly buying records has become “my thing”, would be from the early days, that’s the early to mid-80s in my book, when I hadn’t really found my musical feet, so to speak.

In 1989, I began DJ’ing at college, which sounds like an absolute dream job, and in many ways it was. But in one way it wasn’t.

Because for a couple of years I had a budget from the Student Union coffers to spend on nothing but records. Problem was, I didn’t get to keep them. Well, not officially, anyway.

Which means for that short period of time, there are swathes of records which under normal circumstances I (probably) would have bought for myself, but which I actually bought to live in the DJ booth.

Including this one, which I still think is bloody magnificent record: