Thank You For The Opportunity

It’s a big weekend on the BBC, what with the final of that dancing competition and the annual Sports Personality of the Year Awards.

But there’s one other series finale happening tonight: the conclusion of the 14th series of The Apprentice.

It’s a show I’ve watched for many years now, introduced to and hooked on it by my old flatmate Llyr.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept: sixteen business people compete through a series of tasks for a £250,00 investment in their business. Each week, ineptitude is exposed and (at least) one is “fired” from the show.

As with my post earlier about Paul Heaton and The Beautiful South, I’m very aware that it’s a show which divides opinion, and that many consider it to be a tired format, ready to be put out to grass.

But.

This series has been really funny, especially the interview episode which aired this week.

The interview episode, the penultimate one, is always a highlight, as the remaining five candidates are grilled on their business plans, their performances up until now, their characteristics, and, frankly, anything else which is of relevance.

This year’s interview episode threw up a truly great piece of TV as last standing guy Daniel floundered under the interrogation of Mike Soutar, giving us, as @benjamincutting said on Twitter: “The best 52 seconds of TV in 2018” (link posted with Ben’s kind permission):

When each applicant is “fired” it has become tradition for them to shuffle out of the boardroom, thanking everyone for “the opportunity”.

It’s something that always irked me; why thank them? They’ve given you nothing in return for your efforts! Why not go out with a screaming tirade against them, rather than saving the soliloquy about what they’re missing out on for the taxi ride home?

But.

Several years ago, I was offered a position at a firm of solicitors based in Cheltenham. They predominantly made claims against insurance companies and, having worked for one for almost ten years, I had pitched my interview schtick in the “I know how to get their money” camp. I got the job, and spent just shy of three months commuting from Cardiff every day.

Just before my three-month probation was up, I was chatting to the CEO of the company, who gave me the nod that I was going to pass my probation and that maybe I should think about moving more locally to save me having to commute every day. I duly did, signing a six-month rental agreement on a flat within walking distance of the office.

And then, one Monday morning around three weeks later, I was called into the office by the main partner of the firm who told me that things “weren’t going to work out”, that they’d had many other ex-insurance employees and it was always the same, and that they’d have to “let me go.”

What was particularly galling about this was that he was the one who had interviewed me, had hired me on the basis of my insurance background and experience, and now was firing me for exactly the same reason!

But what annoyed me even more was that instead of pointing this out to him, I meekly shook his hand and heard myself say: “Thank you for the opportunity.”

There’s only one song to post:

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Pet Shop Boys – Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots Of Money)

More soon.

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Published by

Jez

Contact me by email at: dubioustaste26@gmail.com Follow me on Twitter: @atastehistory Or do both. Whatever.

3 thoughts on “Thank You For The Opportunity”

  1. Yes, I watched all three finals this weekend and have a good track record of predicting each winner, but only got the Apprentice winner correct this year. I remember you telling that story before – Don’t think you’d simply “thank them for the opportunity” nowadays – Like me you’ve probably reached the age where you would tell them where to stick their job!

    Something that always annoys me about the Apprentice is that the girls seem to universally feel the need to squeeze their feet into high heeled court shoes which I guarantee will cause them major problems in later life, and they will probably require surgery. They have to run around London’s cobbled streets in these teetering health hazards whereas the guys can comfortably navigate the pavements in a pair of smart brogues. When are we all going to see sense and have a moratorium of these items of torture for women? Some companies insist on it which horrifies me. Kristen Stewart did her bit for the cause at this year’s Cannes Film Festival but time some of the Apprentice ladies adopted the same approach, as a dreadful example for women in business – It really doesn’t have to be so painful to get about! (Prime example of the damage done to feet by wearing such high heels is by witnessing the new Duchess of Sussex’s tootsies – Too many years of working on the set of Suits methinks. Rant over!

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