If I were more organised, then:
a) this would have been the first post in the series, and
b) I would have posted it on a Saturday.
Such is life.
I can’t really go any further in this thread without posting the song that the thread title is lifted from. I wish I’d chosen something else, for two reasons:
- I’ve posted this song before, and
- As the title of the series, it takes ages to type out every time.
But here you go: the greatest song ever about unrequited love. A song we can all identify with, I think, set as it is in school years, when we all had a crush which wasn’t reciprocated.
Didn’t we…? Can’t just have been me, surely?
Mine was with a girl called Fiona. Adored her from the moment I clapped eyes on her. But she really wasn’t in the least bit interested.
And then, one day in double English, I was messing about and as a punishment was made to sit on “the girls’ table” for the rest of the term. Right in between Fiona and the equally admired Tammy.
This was no punishment, thought I (and several other boys in my class). This was an opportunity.
Twice a week, I got to show her that I was not just really quite good at English, but also that I was the funniest, most charming bloke they could ever meet. A catch!
It seemed to work for a while. I distinctly recall her relaying a joke that I had made to some of the other girls. A joke about carrots. And not even a rude joke about carrots.
Hey! Don’t judge me! Root vegetables was the subject matter I was handed, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I ran with it.
Alas, Fiona remained impervious to my charms, and shortly afterwards her family moved away, shifting her to a different school.
I like to think me moving seats and her moving school weren’t linked in anyway, but you never know. It’s possible.
It wasn’t even a particularly good joke about carrots, if I’m honest.
It’s all downhill from here.
If ever I think someone needs some Billy in their life, that’s the song I go for. 100% conversion rate so far. If you’ve always steered clear of Billy because you don’t like his politics, pop that prejudice away for a moment and give that a listen.