When I’m not doing this, or binge-watching shows on Netflix, or, y’know, working, I spend a lot of my time listening to comedy shows on the BBC radio iPlayer, one of my favourite shows being “The Unbelievable Truth”, a panel show hosted by David Mitchell.
The premise of the show is that each panellist delivers a short lecture which is entirely false, save for five pieces of true information, which they must try to smuggle past their opponents, cunningly disguised amongst the lies.
A recently re-broadcast show announced – spoiler alert – the fact that a 1992 US report, entitled “The Effect of Country Music on Suicide”, demonstrated that cities with a higher than average country music radio market share had higher suicide rates, independent of other factors such as poverty, divorce rates or gun availability.
It’s possible that the subject matter is one of the causes of this phenomenon, and the show went on to cite the following country song titles as examples: “If I’d Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now”, “You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly”, “My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him” and “I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim’s Getting Better”.
In my search to corroborate that all of those really are titles of country records (they are), I stumbled across a few more which tickled me: “How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?”, “I’d Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy”, and “I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like Having You Here”.
If you listened to the Kershaw session version of “Paintball’s Coming Home” by Half Man Half Biscuit that I posted yesterday (and if you didn’t, you really should), you’ll have noticed that it started with a version of a completely different song, which has a great title, if not as great as some of those.
This one, in fact: